Quoting: Originally posted by individual

Hello all!

Do you find that once meeting a person who is both physically and mentally compatible via online that one big obstacle stands in the way is dueling lifestyles?

Has this new great other in your life resigned him or herself to a life of being alone and now can't/won't fit you into it?

Have you found this often/seldom? Does the problem stem from work schedule that fits a lonely lifestyle or from years of being with someone else?

Hello all!

Do you find that once meeting a person who is both physically and mentally compatible via online that one big obstacle stands in the way is dueling lifestyles?

Has this new great other in your life resigned him or herself to a life of being alone and now can't/won't fit you into it?

Have you found this often/seldom? Does the problem stem from work schedule that fits a lonely lifestyle or from years of being with someone else?

Quoting: Originally posted by ozredhead62

Quoting: Originally posted by individual Ozredhead, I have seen that too, finding a woman interesting then they despite professing desire to be with me they never find the time. Of course I have had the opposite too, as I age though I see to many independent saying they don't need a man. Then why date? Go be alone don't pretend to want to have a relationship so you can claim independence. It not only not fair it simply stupid.

Well I do understand what you mean, I get that they just want to be friends "friends with benefits" or they are not ready for a relationship.

I dont think independence has anything to do with it. I have been independent for many years now, I dont need a man, but I WANT one.

I do wonder what they are doing dating myself, but I guess it just goes back to "they are just not that into you" enough.

Dont let it all get you down for I believe that things happen for a reason, and that with each step we are all getting closer to finding that person that is right for us. :)

Well I do understand what you mean, I get that they just want to be friends "friends with benefits" or they are not ready for a relationship.

I dont think independence has anything to do with it. I have been independent for many years now, I dont need a man, but I WANT one.

I do wonder what they are doing dating myself, but I guess it just goes back to "they are just not that into you" enough.

Dont let it all get you down for I believe that things happen for a reason, and that with each step we are all getting closer to finding that person that is right for us. :)

Quoting: Originally posted by one2one

I don't know if it's a question of lifestyles, per se. I think it may be a different problem ... of being fully open to another person.

What I find, too often, is that people seem to have a certain part their lives that's missing that special person they're looking for. All the rest is in place, or enough of it anyway. So that getting to know someone turns into finding out if you fit perfectly into that one empty spot in their lives.

Are you exactly what they imagined while they were writing their profile? Do you fit seamlessly with all the other aspects of their life? Are you the addition to everything else that meets all the needs that aren't currently being met?

Or do you take up more room than that? Have ideas and needs of your own? Want more from them than they anticipated? etc.

I find it really hard to fit into tiny little spaces that don't have enough room for any of my needs or desires.

I don't know if it's a question of lifestyles, per se. I think it may be a different problem ... of being fully open to another person.

What I find, too often, is that people seem to have a certain part their lives that's missing that special person they're looking for. All the rest is in place, or enough of it anyway. So that getting to know someone turns into finding out if you fit perfectly into that one empty spot in their lives.

Are you exactly what they imagined while they were writing their profile? Do you fit seamlessly with all the other aspects of their life? Are you the addition to everything else that meets all the needs that aren't currently being met?

Or do you take up more room than that? Have ideas and needs of your own? Want more from them than they anticipated? etc.

I find it really hard to fit into tiny little spaces that don't have enough room for any of my needs or desires.

Quoting: Originally posted by ozredhead62

Hey Individual,

I think that a very important part in working out if your potential partner is the one for you is to also qualify some of these things. This is especially important if you do not live near each other.

I think its no point continuing getting to know each other in that way unless there is a potential of actually merging your lives together at some stage.

I think many things play a part in the merging of two lives, and it is not always so easy.

There is an element of being stuck in your own habits and ways, but I really think that if the one you are merging with is the right one that both of you will want to give and take.

I agree with Nodrama, in that if it important enough to you you will both find a way.

I once went out with a nice guy LD and he kept telling me that he did not have time to spend with me. The relationship ended but we stayed friends.

Not long after he met and fell for someone else. In our discussions he revealed that he had spend quite some time with her. Where he couldn't seem to find the time while we were together he now seemed to find it for her.

If there's a will there's a way. If there is no will they are not the right one. :)

Hey Individual,

I think that a very important part in working out if your potential partner is the one for you is to also qualify some of these things. This is especially important if you do not live near each other.

I think its no point continuing getting to know each other in that way unless there is a potential of actually merging your lives together at some stage.

I think many things play a part in the merging of two lives, and it is not always so easy.

There is an element of being stuck in your own habits and ways, but I really think that if the one you are merging with is the right one that both of you will want to give and take.

I agree with Nodrama, in that if it important enough to you you will both find a way.

I once went out with a nice guy LD and he kept telling me that he did not have time to spend with me. The relationship ended but we stayed friends.

Not long after he met and fell for someone else. In our discussions he revealed that he had spend quite some time with her. Where he couldn't seem to find the time while we were together he now seemed to find it for her.

If there's a will there's a way. If there is no will they are not the right one. :)

Quoting: Originally posted by nodramaaroundme

Like I always tell my friends, if you really want to do something or be with someone you will find a way...PERIOD. Sometimes I even have to remind myself when I'm "attempting" to date someone. When I want something or someone I can always find a way to fit them in.

Like I always tell my friends, if you really want to do something or be with someone you will find a way...PERIOD. Sometimes I even have to remind myself when I'm "attempting" to date someone. When I want something or someone I can always find a way to fit them in.